So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
