I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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