Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
