my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You are a genius and a whore.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
