I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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