just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
