I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize