you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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