I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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