if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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