I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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