There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
