my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
