i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
