If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Fuck appropriateness.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
