are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
