youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
