you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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