blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
