420 ftw
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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