dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
