i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
