Yo dont text me then not text me
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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