if i can run in heels then i can drive
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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