mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize