remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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