Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
