I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
