i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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