you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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