I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
