I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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