she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
