had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I will pee on everything he values.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
