I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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