I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
