I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
