11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
