due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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