Sry I called you an 8
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
