dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
