He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
