You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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