I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
