took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
how does that bad decision feel?
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