My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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