I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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