His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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