it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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