she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
