now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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