After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
