her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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