..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
