But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
