he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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