I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
