I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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