ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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