You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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