How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
