It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
