I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
