Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
