we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
